=(

it's 2 am in the morning.

and i'm still awake.

why?

i don't know.

just don't feel like sleeping.
I'm in a bad mood now,

i don't even know why.

everyday,

every night,

at this time,

if i hadn't sleep,

i would have this feeling.

especially when i'm alone,

with no one to talk to.

I feel like crying,

but it seem silly.

to cry for no reason

somemore in the middle of the night

@.@

my fish suicide around 11.45pm yesterday.

it keep bang the wall of aquarium

till it head bleed,

but still not willing to stop.

till it doesn't have energy to move.

it's a cat fish.
white colour with some dark brown spot on it body.

looks lovely.

but,

now,

one is dead,

one is still alive.

am i should be grateful that the other one is still alive?

or i should be sad now?

I'm confused by myself now.

My feeling is all mixed up.

Just like a milk shake.

sad, happy, angry, weird feeling.

all came out at once.

why am i having this feeling?

I hate myself !

- hui ping -